Snape's Defiance to Defence
by Enchantress Nova
Summary: Over the years there have been many Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers and many have left lasting memories on the gloomy Potions Master as he wished nothing more than to be them. Read and meet these bazaar individuals for yourselves.


_(A/N: Hey, I just went off on a daydream and came up with this idea to make me giggle. Snape vs DADA teachers. Think about this story like a collection of oneshots about weird people over the years Dumbledore has hired in the post and their confrontations with our favourite potions master. Complete insanity and I don't usually write stuff like this; just to let you know there is no plot but some funnies so I hope you will enjoy._

_Disclaimer: JK Rowling doesn't share.)_

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Chapter One: Introduction

By Enchantress Nova

Severus had just joined the staff, he was young and qualified and...well...didn't like killing people. That's good, right? Leaving the Death Eaters had not ended in disaster as Snape had feared; the Headmaster had accepted his plea and given him a job here. True the school was not home to his favourite memories, it actually held his worst and most horrific but he had to look on the bright side. His git of a father was dead and the burden of the mark had not damned him so far. Yes...that is the bright side.

The DADA teacher whom had taught Severus in school had left to become a mother. She had tried returning after maternity leave but apparently she missed her 'widdle biddy babies' too much. Good thing she was gone; Severus was not sure he would be able to handle a woman whose dictionary was thickest of words in the 'W' section and enough vowels to drown a giant in.

The senior students were not too much younger than him but certainly were leagues behind in smarts and maturity. This was proved by the young Severus watching a Gryffindor Senior boy making rude noises with his armpit making the girl next to him blush and squirm in her seat. Children.

He found it strange that he had never truly been naive or immature like his fellow students at the time and now Severus feared he might end up as walked over as many of his own professors were. Luckily, Snape had been a quiet and well behaved boy and so had no enemies on the staff. Snape for a moment wondered what happened to Professor Slughorn, the previous potions master, but decided it wasn't a big thing.

Severus' natural talent was potions but I had always enjoyed Defence Against the Dark Arts the most and it made the dark haired slightly jealous that he hadn't been given the post. He was more than qualified, just because he was better in potions didn't mean he couldn't do a brilliant job teaching something else (which by the way he got an 'A' in.)

Upon joining the staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus had felt saved, like his life could finally get on track. It was an added honour being made Head of House and Severus didn't think things could get much better under the circumstances.

Little did the Potions Professor know that the array of Defence Against the Dark Arts over the years would prove to be more than a little interesting, eventful and sometimes just downright weird. And this is even before Quirrel and the content of his turban, Lockhart and his abuse of Mind Charms, Lupin, Moody and all the rest of them.

Making way through the years many DADA teachers have come and gone but one potions master has bared witness (and possibly victim) to each. Hogwarts has had them all; cat obsessed old ladies, someone far too accident prone, a naturist, a stoner and a lustful homosexual with a thing for 'Goths'.

Make of them what you will; but for Severus his unwilling involvement he can't really say it was their teaching skills he remembers them for. The madness over the years warring down the already grim black clad man but he can look back at these individuals oddly with a degree of fondness. For all he had at one point wished to strangle, forcibly groom, curse and even castrate certain ones, looking back, and thankfully without them in his life at the end of it all, they made his time at Hogwarts very memorable.

This is their stories...

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_(A/N: Hope you liked this, many OCs to come and I would be very grateful if people left me suggestions for professors to add. This story will go on so long as there is imagination swimming around XD_

_This first chapter is kind of serious but you can expect some funny stuff next chapter; real madness as you can probably tell from the list earlier. _

_Please __Review__ – I love them and I will love you too if you comment (nicely). _

_x Nova _


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